Day Seven

When it comes to figuring out what has had the biggest impact on me, it's hard to narrow it down to just one thing. My family life, my mental health, all of the places I've lived, music, my ex-partners death, and my Grandfather have all has a sizeable impact on my life. But there is one event that changed me forever.

Pre-2003 I was very much a free spirit. I was young, irresponsible, fun, vivacious, drunk, etc. But on the Easter long weekend, 2003 I found out I was pregnant. This came as a shock to me. My partner and I had only been together a short period of time, and our relationship wasn't very stable. I was sick from the get-go. Morning sickness lasted right the way up to the day I gave birth (except for a month in the middle). The whole experience of giving birth was far from what I expected it to be. He was born in a surgical theatre as opposed to a delivery room. After 18 months, my son and I found ourselves alone.

It hasn't been an easy few years for us. Between interstate moves, health problems, and the death of Aedin's dad, I've often had times where I felt like giving up. Any time that notion has gotten into my head all I've needed to do was look into the eyes of my fluffy headed little stink bug and I remember why I'm here. He is the coolest, most inspiring that that I have ever experienced. With him in my life I never need feel alone or unloved. I have cuddles every day. I've been able to regress in some ways, and experience being a kid all over again. Most importantly though, he's helped me filter out most of the worst things about me. I'm not as irresponsible as I used to be. I don't get as drunk and rowdy as I used to (in fact, I don't drink much at all any more). Having him in my life inspires me to be a better person. Not just so that I can give him whatever he needs, but so that he can have a mum that he's proud of.